Friday, October 31, 2008

October Top Droppers

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Southernisms ~ Part I

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.

Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

Happy Halloween

Storyteller of Small Reflections Booed me. Can you imagine such a thing. Well, she did and I'm booing all of you.

Here's the rules:

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Story of Adam and Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

An Atheist

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Is There Baseball In Heaven?

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Memories

A Minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind."

The pastor shouted out, "Cross."

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Child's Perspective on Retirement

A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:

"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Wash. Biol. Surv.

The US Department of the Interior has recently changed the tags it uses to tag migratory birds. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated as "Wash. Biol. Surv."; until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

Thursday, October 23, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Republicans - Democrats

The difference between Republicans and Democrats:

A Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Great Debate

What's the Proper Age to get Married?

"Eighty-four Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." -Carolyn, AGE 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -Bert, AGE 5

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Villagers

Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

Link Love

A reciprocal link is a mutual link between two objects, commonly between two websites, to ensure mutual traffic. For example, Alice and Bob have websites. If Bob's website links to Alice's website, and Alice's website links to Bob's website, the websites are reciprocally linked.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Comment Game

It's time to play the comment game again. I'm off boating someplace while the weather is still decent. I just want you to have something constructive to do if you swing by. So play nice and I'll see you Sunday.

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Cure

A man goes to his doctor for his annual physical complaining of all kinds of mysterious ailments -- lack of sleep, no drive, very little appetite, nervous, etc. After a complete exam, the doctor can find nothing physically wrong and suspects the man is suffering from depression. The two had been friends for many years, so the doctor did not hesitate to ask the man about his personal life.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Good Girls vs Bad Girls

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot.
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it.
Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Art Class

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Week at the Gym

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Body Statistics

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Remain Calm

When your husband or boyfriend does something that makes you angry don't give in to the temptation to argue and fight. Just count to ten, remain calm and after he goes to bed... super-glue his flip flops to the floor!

Hap tip: My sister ♥ Debbie ♥

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Email Issues...

I can't respond to any emails today. Something has crashed on my computer...

And the mouse is missing!

Hat tip: My sister ♥ Debbie ♥

Friday, October 10, 2008

Twin 454's

The twin 454s roared to life, prepared to consume hundreds of gallons of fuel. Zane and Sandee left the dock with hearts quickened by the prospect of the skyline of San Francisco appearing across their bow. Sandee was incredibly excited. It had been a long, exhausting week and she was looking forward to a relaxing and romantic couple of days. She had no idea, however, what Zane had in store for her. Yep. It was going to be a bumpy ride.

Bay Cruise - Final Chapter

We are all up and ready to go first thing the next morning. We were pretty funny trying to figure out how to ride the muni train downtown then transfer to a different train that would get us to Chinatown. Let's see, you need the 'n' for so far then the 't'. Yikes. We made it on time, but it was comical. You could tell we were from the sticks.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Bay Cruise - Part II

We leave Pittsburg early Friday morning and head for Benicia. We are even more excited because Benicia is truly the beginning of the bay cruise. We float along and in a couple of hours we arrive. We get our boats docked and await other boats throughout the day. One of the members decides it's time for Bloody Mary's so we have a bunch of those and the party began.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Bay Cruise - Part 1

I have received numerous requests for a rundown and photographs of our recent bay cruise. This is no small task as there were approximately 2,000 pictures taken during the multiple day trip. I'm going to break the trip down into sections so it will be easier to absorb.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sneakers

The quality of foot odor is often reported as a thick, cheese-like smell. Some describe the smell like that of malt vinegar. However, it can also be ammonia-like. Brevibacteria are considered a major cause of foot odor because they ingest dead skin on the feet and, in the process, convert amino acid methionine into methanethiol, which has a sulfuric aroma. Source: Wikipedia

Friday, October 3, 2008

The Story Game

It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm relaxing on the boat. So play nice. Okay?

Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time in a land far away, A beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

Present Whereabouts...

Off to the boat today to pack it for a long voyage. Tomorrow starts our San Francisco Bay Cruise. This is a yacht club function and here's some of the places we are going:

Thursday: Pittsburg Marina
Friday through Monday morning: Benicia Yacht Club
Monday through Saturday morning: South Beach in San Francisco

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Did You Know? - Part II

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."