Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Thursday Thirteen

The Thursday 13 is a weekly meme with a simple theme: each Thursday you blog a list of 13 things. What kind of things? Any kind! Just come up with a list theme and run with it. One week you may list “13 things on my mind” and maybe the next week you’d list “my top 13 favorite movies”.  Back in early 2007, Janet came up with the idea of going through the alphabet;  “13 Things I Love that begin with the letter A”, etc.  That gives you 26 weeks of ideas! Each new 13 will be posted at approximately 8PM EST every Wednesday evening.

Another Scam Alert

Police say that the gang usually is comprised of four members, one adult and three younger ones. While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent, divert their 'mark' (or intended target) with a show of friendliness, the fourth -- the eldest -- sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle through his or her pocket or purse for any valuables.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday (WW) is a visual blogosphere phenomenon. Whereas blogs (web journals) are primarily about "words" bloggers love to dress their journal entries with imagery. WW is a simple blog post featuring a photo which conveys a message that speaks for itself without using words.

Harley-Davidson and God

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Our Anniversary

Today is our 8th wedding anniversary. I married the greatest man and am truly thankful we walk through life together. A fellow blogger seems to know just how much we love each other and she often writes love poems that I swear are about our love. Who is this fellow blogger?

Monday, April 28, 2008

Sexing Your Computer

As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Airline Bloopers

On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude And will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if You can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Impossible Things To Say when Drunk

Things that are difficult to say when drunk:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Friday, April 25, 2008

Koala and the Lizard

A koala was sitting in a gum tree... smoking a joint

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,

"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Amish Farmer

An Amish farmer, working his field, notices a man kneeling down and drinking from his farm pond.

The Amish farmer shouts, 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' (Which means, 'Don't drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.')

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Evil Queen

The evil Queen, who has just been thoroughly and irrevocably saved by a God because God was beginning to be tired of all the requests from british people to save her, is coming for a visit this weekend. I've hidden our baby girl, Prunella, because the Queen is inclined to put curses on girls because of her fierce jealousy and hatred. I'll never forget how she turned our neighbors little Princess into a Porsche.

Friday, April 18, 2008

The Story Game

I got this idea from Marilyn of More Random Than Average and decided to do this and the comment game this week. I just want you to have something to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm enjoying our boat. So play nice. Okay? Our last story, The Handsome Prince, was awesome.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Comment Game

I'm off to the boat for a long weekend and wanted to have something for you to do if you dropped by. What's better than getting to play the comment game? So play nice and I'll see you Sunday.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

First comment: Pork Ribs or Beef Ribs?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Cruise...

We are off for a long weekend on our boat along with lots of other boating buddies. This is our first cruise-in and being that I am the port captain I have much work to do. It's my job to get the boats in safely to our destination and get everyone off the docks when the weekend is over. In other words we're first in and last out all year long. We will be playing in Rio Vista from Thursday through Sunday.

The Divorce Letter

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Men Can't Win!

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.. If you don't work enough, you are a good for nothing bum.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Actual Newspaper Headlines

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Most Famous Man

The teacher said, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."

Friday, April 11, 2008

Stuff Happens...

Eighth Place - In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place - A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday (WW) is a visual blogosphere phenomenon. Whereas blogs (web journals) are primarily about "words" bloggers love to dress their journal entries with imagery. WW is a simple blog post featuring a photo which conveys a message that speaks for itself without using words.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Give Me Five

The 'Give Me Five' Monday meme is designed to share fun information with each other in a simple short list! Here's how it works. Each week, I will put out a random topic from my list of topics and you share 5 answers of your choice on the given topic and link back here!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Redneck Driver's License Application

Pleeze compleet this application, best ya can.

Last name: _______________

First name:
[_] Billy-Bob
[_] Billy-Joe

Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Island

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright - but after a few months he gets lonely...

The pig starts to look more and more attractive - soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Fridays Feast

Appetizer
Invent a new flower; give it a name and describe it.
It would be a combination of all these flowers (colors) and I would call it the Cassandra.

It would have magic powers and if you smelled it you would be young and live forever. No, I'm not drinking this early in the morning.

Your Workplace Zodiac Sign?

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Mountain Man

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Why We Blog - Part Two

Mel at Monday Morning Power created this meme for a way for us to promote our blogs, share in some link love and increase our readership. Mel launched this meme on October 17th with eighteen original participants. We each tagged up to five people and then we all waited to see how this would grow. Well grow it did.

It's a Viral Thing

Mother's Home Story...It's a Viral Thing

Rules:

Copy and paste the story below, and the rules, on your blog.

Find out who you're going to tag. (2-3 people, or more, if you wish).

A Magical Visit

I would like to thank Mel at "Monday Morning Power for sending the genies my way. Mel's site is dedicated to the pursuit, capture, care and feeding of a positive mental attitude. Believe me he is a very upbeat and positive person. Okay, on with the rules:

***Start Copy Here***

April Fools Day Quiz

You can't believe everything you read — especially on April Fools' Day. Can you tell which stories are true and which are false? Just click the "read more" for the answers at the end of this post. Don't peek and have fun!

1. Buddhist dog prays for worldly desires